Dealing with wedding invitations requires attention to lots of details: printing techniques, paper, wording and addressing etiquette, managing your responses and headcount, and more.
You’ll want to order invitations around four to six months before the wedding. Give yourself plenty of time to assemble and address them so you can mail them out no later than six weeks before the big day. Before you shop, let’s go over the need-to-know stationery facts and lingo.
The Anatomy of a Wedding Invitation
If you’re newbie’s to the world of the wedding invite, it helps to get a handle on all the components involved. Many are optional, and many more can change based on the formality of your wedding. If you’re having an informal affair, you might even forego the traditional invitation completely and use simple cards, notes or save a tree and do the whole thing online.
For our purposes, let’s take a traditional wedding invitation, all sealed and stamped and ready to go. We’ll peel into this thing like an onion.
Outer Envelope – This contains and protects everything else. The recipient’s name and address is handwritten on the outside according to traditional outer envelope etiquette, and a postage stamp is applied; the postal service’s “love” stamps are a nice touch. A return address (yours) is often printed on the flap of the outer envelope to ensure that any undeliverable invitations are returned to you.
Inner Envelope – As the flap of the outer envelope is opened, the inner envelope is revealed, printed side up and flap down so that the recipient’s name is immediately visible. It is ungummed and unsealed, with the recipient’s name handwritten according to traditional inner envelope etiquette. While the outer envelope may arrive scuffed and abused from its journey, the inner envelope should be pristine.
Invitation – Inside the inner envelope is the invitation itself. It’s traditionally printed or engraved with black, brown or gray ink on rich white or ivory paper. The wording is up to you, but many follow a traditional format.
Enclosures – These are extras like maps, reception cards, response cards and so forth that are stacked on top of or between the invitation itself… we’ll get to the specifics next. There may also be a slip of tissue between the invitation wording and enclosures, historically used to protect the ink from blotting. The order of enclosures, from bottom to top, goes like this (not all of these may be present): tissue paper, reception card, map card, then response envelope with response card tucked under the flap. The response envelope is usually pre-printed with your address and has a stamp applied so invitees need only ink their response, seal it, and drop it in the mail.
All Kinds of Enclosures
As we mentioned, these are optional extras that might be added in with the invitation itself. Keep in mind that more enclosures mean more stationery cost, more postage, and more invitation assembly. A better bet? Post all this stuff on your wedding website, and inform everyone more conveniently for free.
Response (or RSVP) Card
The response card is the note that guests send back to you to let you know if they’re attending or not. They’re also known as RSVP cards (from the French répondez s’il vous plait, meaning “please reply”). You’ll normally tuck them inside the flap of a pre-stamped and pre-addressed return envelope for quick and easy mailing back to you. If you’re accepting responses by phone or e-mail only, let guests know on the card, and omit the return envelope. Remember that for your (and your guests’) convenience, you should also offer online RSVPs at your wedding website. If online RSVP is your sole response method, notify your guests on the response card. Keep a contingency plan in mind for those tech-phobic guests that shun the internet.
Response cards should set a deadline for guests to respond. The printed wording may go something like:
The favour of a reply is requested
by the seventh of May
After this, you have a number of options. You might leave the rest of the card blank, letting guests enter their own message; the cards could then become keepsakes for you. Or you might write the exact names of the individuals invited and have a column for “Accepts’ and one for “Regrets” so that they can simply check off their response. This has the added benefit of restricting guests to those you invite. rather than leaving it open for them to bring any number of people they wish. You might also want to have checkboxes for meal choices in order to collect the number of each preference for your caterer.
All of this functionality and more is offered to you automatically on your website’s online RSVP page. The good thing about such e-RSVPs, as we’ll see later, is that all the headcount, meal count, adult count and kid count stats are tracked and updated for you automatically.
Reception Cards
Provide the time and location of the reception if it’s in a different location than the ceremony. See example:
Reception
immediately following the ceremony
The Bay Lodge
332 Pacific Coast Drive
San Francisco
Accommodations and Map/Directions Cards
Let everyone know where your guest accommodations are located and how to get to your ceremony and locations spots. You can also print maps and directions to the reception area on the back of your ceremony programs.
Special Transportation Cards
Inform your guests if you’ve arranged for a shuttle or other vehicle service to transport them to a remote or out of the way site.
Rain Cards
If you’re having an outdoor wedding, a rain card could notify guests of an alternate location in case the weather sours.
Within-the-Ribbon or Pew Cards
For especially large weddings, these can designate special seating arrangements for family members and close friends—typically close to the alter, or “within the ribbon”. They should instruct your ushers where to seat the individual(s). Pew cards can also be sent out separately to the guests once they’ve accepted the invitation.
Choosing Your Style
Your invitation is the first tangible component of your wedding that guests will experience. It should introduce your style and formality, letting guests know what to expect (including dress code). Invitations can even give a hint of your theme and a first glimpse of your overall wedding vision. To that end, here are some of the decisions you’ll make:
Printing Technique
Engraving – This is the most formal, traditional, and—yes—expensive option. It also takes the most time. A custom metal plate is used to press the text into the paper from behind, resulting in a raised top surface and indented back.
Thermography – The most popular method. A resinous powder is applied to the ink and it is heated, resulting in a raised lettering very similar to engraving at a much lower cost.
Lithography or Offset Printing – Standard printed stationery without any kind of texture to the lettering. This method is the most cost-effective and is often used for informal invitations. It’s also the only choice for very textured paper that won’t support raised lettering.
Alternatives – If your guest list is a small one and you have beautiful penmanship, you may want to draw up your own invitations for that extra touch of personalization. Or you may want to hire a calligrapher to do it. There are also nice, printable do-it-yourself packages out there and some truly gorgeous calligraphic computer fonts as a cost-effective alternative to pricey and time-consuming calligraphy. Check online or at your local craft shop.
Paper Stock and Ink
Traditional invitation stock is white, cream or ivory, though newer contemporary designs are often rich with color. Cotton/linen blends are elegant and more expensive options. Keep in mind that heavier paper or larger dimensions will cost more and will increase your postage expenses.
For ink, black or dark gray is traditional, but most printers can lay your text out in one of a variety of colors.
Invitation Wording
The purpose of your invitations is to inform your guests as to the time and place of the wedding, the names of the couple getting married and the names of the wedding’s sponsors. How you word yours will also reflect the style and mood you envision. Feel free to add your personality to the prose, but otherwise keep it simple and straightforward. Have the following etiquette pointers in mind for formal wedding invitations:
No Abbreviations – With the exception of Mr., Mrs., Dr. and Jr. you should spell everything out: street names, states, titles, numbers, dates and so forth.
No Nicknames – Proper, full names only. And be consistent; if you use the groom’s middle name, use the bride’s middle name as well. Traditionally, the bride’s surname is not included unless it is different from her parents’.
Name the Sponsors – The wording should reflect the individuals hosting the wedding.
Religious or Civil? – Traditionally, the wording “request the honour of your presence” hints that the ceremony will be religious while “request the pleasure of your company’ implies a civil ceremony.
Wording Example
The Bride and Groom Hosting:
Ms. Christina Anne Morgan
and
Mr. Steven Lee Smith
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
Saturday the sixteenth of June
at one o’clock
Grace Cathedral
San Francisco, California
e-Resource Guide
Need Invitation Wording Ideas?
To see all sorts of wording variations and styles, and to get those creative juices flowing, hit the web. Go to Google (www.google.com) and do a search for “wedding invitation wording”. Sites like VerseIt.com have plenty of ideas to browse through, along with etiquette guidelines and tips.
At the Verselt.com home page, click on ‘Verse It” and select “Weddings” from the event menu. You’ll be able to select wording based on theme and hosts: bride’s parents hosting, both parents hosting bride and groom hosting, and so forth. It’s a great source of ideas on invitation wording that you might otherwise have never even considered.
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ABOUT THE AUTHORS:
Crystal and Jason Melendez are the authors of e-Plan Your Wedding:
How to Save Time and Money with Today’s Best Online Resources.
For more information, please visit http://www.eplanyourwedding.com
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